I can’t really explain the methodology behind this heavily curated ranking of hot vampires that gave me several migraines, except to say that every vampire on this list had to be a vampire and had to be hot. With another spooky season upon us, I have been asked to do the unthinkable: rank the hot vampires from movies and television by their hotness. We don’t really care about the noncanonical behavior, because they are all - and I can’t say this enough - extremely hot. The vampires of The Twilight Saga avoid the sun not because it causes them to perish but because it makes their skin glitter the vampires in The Vampire Diaries universe can consume food and beverages along with regular-degular blood. The vampire has evolved since the advent of film and TV in the 20th century, breaking some of the aforementioned rules in favor of being hotter onscreen. But one must not forget perhaps the most important trait of vampires: They are very, very hot.Īdmittedly, this is a mostly modern trait. Throughout those centuries, a few things have remained consistent about vampires: They have fangs, they can’t go out in the sun, they are immortal, they need to be invited into houses, they can fly, they are generally driven by a thirst for human blood. The vampire is a mythical, at least to my knowledge, creature that has appeared in fiction for centuries. Photo-Illustration: Vulture Photos by Dimension Films, Screen Gems, The WB Television Network, The CW, New Line Cinema, and Warner Bros

I learned a few things on this journey, mainly that most vampires are excruciatingly hot in a way that makes me feel bad and compromises my morals.

Blood angels red thirst edition